This post has to start with a confession… I watch Love Island.
There. I said it. I didn’t intend to watch it, I swear. Mrs F put it on the TV as I was tapping away, muttering something about ‘that bloody laptop’ being attached to me, and I subtly found my attention slipping away from the plight of Leah as she battled to… well I’ll let you find that out in The Leah Chronicles: Andorra, but the point is that before I’d realised it, I was totally immersed in the show.
I know… but please keep reading.
I like to think of myself as a keen study of the human condition. I am, and probably always will be, a people-watcher. That’s where all the little mannerisms and attention to detail comes from when building up a character. I do it all the time and have more than once been caught out by an unsuspecting stranger as I stared at them imagining their demise as a ‘red shirt’ or some other fate in a world that exists solely inside my own head. Some of these reach paper, some do not, but without that close scrutiny then the people you read about wouldn’t be able to come to life.
I recently asked the Devon C Ford Fan Page on the facebooks what I should write a post about, and there were more than enough suggestions on there to keep me going for a while, but this one sort of took over.
The people on this show are, generally, vapid and so desperate for attention that it was almost painfully comical to watch how they communicated with their underdeveloped vocabularies and amoeba-level social skills that it made me experience varying degrees of embarrassment that I felt on behalf of the rest of my species. Disclaimer: some of the people on there are educated and seem genuine, however that begs the question of why the f*ck they are there in the first place…
I won’t lower myself as to offer my opinions on individuals for controversy’s sake, but speaking about the concept in general I feel totally justified in my belief that we, the human race, are breeding ourselves into stupidity. I mean, sure, the Doctor guy clearly has a very worthwhile skillset, but what good would a social media presenter (I didn’t even know that was thing!) or a model be in the post-apoc? Is there much call for that kind of life experience?
I can just see it now.
Dan: “Sure, we’ll feed you and keep you safe. What can you do to benefit the rest of our society?”
Male model: “Er, yah, I can, like, walk up and down in a straight line and everything?”
Dan: *scowls*
Male model: “No, like, it’s like really difficult because, like, I er, I have to turn around at the end and, like, pout at the same time and everything?”
Dan: *looks at Leah*
Leah: *looks at Ash…*
Ash: *bites male model*
You see my point? Now I’m not saying that anyone without military/survivalist experience isn’t worth letting in, not at all, but when a person has no proficiency at all when it comes to considering anyone but themselves then they would have a very steep learning curve to ride. Anyone, and I mean almost every single regular person out there, could find themselves a niche in the post-apoc. Not everyone is a Ranger, not everyone has the skills to organise and lead the people, but everyone would at least try. There are boxes of scavenged supplies to carry and stack. Logs to chop up. Things to keep clean. Vegetables to be planted and picked. Literally anything can be learned to be a useful cog in the machine, but something about these people makes me think that they wouldn’t really be prepared to pitch in and earn their place in the world.
Honestly, this show is the absolute epitome of car-wreck TV for me. It’s so bad I can’t stop watching it. I actually look forward to it, and engage in conversations about it.
Which brings me to the real question.
Who are the worst people in this situation? The contestants for applying, the TV company that actually made it, or me for watching it?
I lied about avoiding controversy; Eyal needs a high five in the face with a plant pot. Yar.
Bring on the apocalypse, people, bring it on.
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